In a Den of Lions...

Day 142

For 4 1/2 months I've held on.  I've known that today, more than any other day in my life, would be the most pivotal. And as it turns out, it's become exactly that.

In my life I've rocked the boat and recoiled back into the dark place known as active alcoholism. It was going to take a miracle to breakthrough, but it was not going to happen by my hand. March 5th I experienced the intervention that comes once in a lifetime.  And I'm writing about it while enjoying a coffee and finding freedom at my fingertips in a new and authentic way.

Today was my sentencing on my DUI...due to my history and battles, it was being charged as a felony...and the DA was pursuing as such.  But granted, it was a conviction that most would agree upon having looked into the last 17 years of my life.

I've shared little on the legal portion of my journey due to preparation of this case.  But today I saw grace handed to me in an authoritative yet hopeful manner.  My attorney spoke on my behalf and shared of the efforts in my recovery over the last months...then the DA's team shared their views (also recognizing that I've made the most of my sobriety and dedication to change)...but their argument was justified.

I was given the opportunity to speak. A fire hydrant could not have relieved me of the feeling of chewing on cotton balls...but I proceeded.  I think I spoke from my core.  I didn't say much. But I was honest and left the rest to the judge's discretion.  

Quiet fell. He looked at his screen and the evidence in front of him and I could feel my legs begin to shake.  He spoke methodically and carefully, reiterating the danger behind the choice I'd made and the general impact of a driver's impaired state potentially causing great harm.  He recounted my DUI by one.  He knew exactly why the DA was proposing the minimum 1-6 yr prison term.  He then spoke of the legislation in place to rehabilitate and keep a prison term at bay.

It was as if God had walked into the room and sat next to the judge and whispered in his ear, "This one's with me. I got this."  And grace fell from his mouth with a judgement in my favor.

"...But I'm going to give you a chance" were his words.

I'm grateful more than I can utter..  I now am part of what's called the SB-277 Program (A 3yr term where I'll be accountable for multiple reports and maintaining this life of recovery). I'll continue my 12-step work, my counseling and more importantly, I'll do it in a self-motivated manner... 'This is my rifle.'

The word 'recovery' by definition means 'to get back that which was lost'.  I'm thinking about leaving my past  behind me and now create something brand new.

 #KiaKaha #Recovery #WhereIBelong #RenoTahoePhotography